Monday, May 21, 2007

I try

As I am writing this, I am thinking back to what my dad used to say just before any major exam or competition..."Just do your best. It doesn't matter if you fail, as long as you try and give it your best effort, it's ok". Sometimes I'm faced with situations these days that make me remember these words. Unfortunately, sometimes just doing your best doesn't quite cut it.

My boss says I'm a perfectionist. He thinks that I aim too high, my standards, be it at work or outside are set way above the norm. Sometimes I agree. Yes, I do try, I try my best. Hence when something fails, I feel really bad. Everyone goes through failure, I'm no exception. I've failed at school, at work, but what gets me the most is when I fail at human relationships.

I feel it's hard to understand people, its easier to understand my dog. I'm always questioning, Why? Why do people do what they do? Why do people behave the way they do? My mum always says, its takes all sorts to make up the world. Good, bad, not so good, not so bad. And I guess that explains it. Cos, no matter how hard I try, there will be people who don't like me and who don't like what I have to say. It's too bad, cos' the people who hate me the most, are basically just like me. I'm rambling, forgive me...its a Monday.

I am thankful for Miracle 2006 though, cos a miracle did happen. Just hope I don't mess up this relationship.

5 comments:

Choobacca said...

I think you are confused about your identity: who you are, who others are to you, who you think you are, what others want you to be.

I call it cause and effect. You do an action, others around you react to that action, some may agree with you, others may despise you.

The problem now is who you think you are does not jive with what others think of you. Hence you are upset and disappointed.

Seeing through this, I think you are an honest, most caring person I know.

One has to lose one's self to find the true you. That time will tell.
Read this message again in a year's time and tell me if I am wrong.

fatboybakes said...

sounds very cheem.
now i'm curious. (evilly scratching chin)...

Anonymous said...

Dear, sometimes what we say/do may be misinterpreted by others. It hurts, coz really it was not your intention to get the response you got but hey, we have to constantly remind ourselves that we are all not twins and therefore what we say/do are bound to be misinterpreted ocassionally.

That is not a reflection of your self worth. So long as the intention was pure and not frought with malice, things will come around....and if it doesn't the person is not worth all the agonising you are going thru....

Cheer up!

SC said...

The reason I write is never malicious...except for that one about the insurance system lah.

But Anneh is right, what I write I have to face consequences. But having said that, it feels good to write, gets all the stress out, all the negative emotions released.

Sometimes though, I just don't realise that people read my rantings and might get offended.

Am cheering up Sunshine, thanks.

Anonymous said...

Get offended don read la.