Constructive Criticism
Funnily enough, I've been thinking about this post for quite a while now. I blame it on the current book I'm reading, Wild Swans. It's about a generation of Chinese women in China, the author of whom later migrated, but wrote on her mother and grandmother and life under Communism when it first began in China. In her book, there are many references to something called "self criticism" where people had to criticise themselves to other people in the community as a way of improving themselves and a way of controlling their thoughts under Communist rule.
Far from discussing Communist doctrines, my post is actually about taking constructive criticism. A lot of us can't. A lot of us do not know how to react when faced with a negative comment about ourselves nor when we fail. This includes me, as yes, I am not that great at taking criticism's myself. But at least after I simmer down, I try to figure out, what went wrong, why I failed and why someone said what they did. If in fact the negative comment can be turned into a positive so I can be better?
I have to thank a lecturer in Uni making me understand this way of thinking and learning how to receive criticism. Dr. Tii, she was the strictest one we had, very difficult to pass with her. On one case, in year 2, I showed her my prep, she said, no, cannot pass. And then went on to say " Do you really want to just pass with barely there work? Or do you want to learn how to do it properly? Spend some time and slowly do the prep, learn, then show me". Which I did, I re-did the prep and then showed her and she said "See, you can do it, you just need to be more patient and do it properly".
In my third year, for major cases, I chose lecturers who were tough, because I knew, if they passed me, I was doing something well. I still remember Dr. Tii's words, especially when I fail. I go through it, over and over again, analysing where and how and what I could have done differently. Same too when someone says " This wasn't good, have to do better" or something along those lines lah.
But I suppose a lot of people can't take constructive criticism, preferring instead to believe that they are never wrong, can do no wrong, and when someone says something bad about them, its out of malice, prejudice and hatred. To which I say, is it not those who are honestly harshest with us who loves us most?
Back to communism...we don't live in a communist country, thankfully, and we are all entitled to opinions. This blog represents my right as a citizen of the blogosphere to write as I please, within reason, about topics that I see fit. It's my blog, I may whine, rant, criticise and what not as I please and like I said, if you don't like it, don't read it. BFC thinks when I write gym related stuff, I will definitely draw some flak...oh well, Jim ( note sarcastic purposeful wrong spelling) Jihads will always champion.... goodness knows what they champion...but BFC is right ..................
So What?!!!!
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21 comments:
It is also inevitable that the flak generating personalities are the same people who love to draw some attention to themselves, since they can't be the real stars.
>)
hey, i read that book too, a long, long time ago. can't remember the story, but it was good. thick novel that spans a few generations.
Sunshine: Book currently on bed stand, am reading it only when have time to laze in bed, not sleeping...very good book, bought at MPH sale at a steal.
BFC: What to do? Some people just love livin in the limelight, thought it might not be theirs...kekekeke..also have figured out that people eavesdrop on my conversations then use it as flak...hmmm.
This country is way past communism, that's for sure. Thank god for free speech too.
But sometimes, if you've got nothing better to say, it's better left unsaid. What one might think as constructive criticism, others might not think the same. They never wanted you to open your mouth in the first place. It's called constructive criticism for a reason, being that if the other party is willing and wanting to accept it. Shooting off your mouth like this can sometimes be called "vindictive and malicious"
So, best that you keep those comments to yourself because if you can dish out criticism, it should come with a set of balls to go up there and prove it, show what's bugging you. That way, it might actually be taken in as 'constructive'.
Don't just talk in the background, put your money where your mouth is.
Apparently its not me who is getting bugged. What I say is only for the ears of those intended for, I don't give free speeches. What I write is free for all who can think and rationalise for themselves on what is an opinion.
It's so easy to talk in the background under a cloak of anonimity, isn't it? Where are YOUR balls?
Oh no my learned friend, you're gravely mistaken. I'm not the one with a bone to pick. This is just a quiet observer.
If what you said was only for those ears whom it was intended for, i believe most people would rightfully so, have the courtesy to take the person in question aside and talk to them face to face. That would've been more tactical instead of spewing guts over a most public medium.
Balls?Oh, i've got a few, tennis balls, ping pong balls, basketballs, or did you mean the ones that comes with a prick? I'm not the one with a bone to pick.
Again, this is my blog, I'll write what I want. That's why it's called So What?!!!
And,I shall still voice my opinions as and when I see fit.
If you don't like what I write, don't read, skip this blog alltogether. If you don't like what I say, don't listen.
you are so blinded in your own world, shanticombat.
wow... this is getting interesting. well, i dunno you but maybe you are the one who just love living in the limelight... trying so hard to get attention but never got it the real life so rather talk cheap in your blog.
yes agreed that this is your blog and you are free to say what you want, and for those who doesnt like it then just leave you alone right? fine, if that's the deal, then maybe you need to unable the comment section, since to me you look like a combater with shortage of ammo... you are the one who's hiding behind your so called BLOG. what a shame. your stupidity unleashed. then again So What!??, right? it's your blog.
and thanks to my comment in the previous entry, that make you wanna write another entry where finally you know that there are people around you in your so called pathetic gym life that despise you.
rant away!! just don't expect people to accept your whining and want to come close to you
Oh i agree, this is YOUR blog, YOUR right to freedom of speech and expression. We've come a long way my friend, glad you noticed amidst all your bitterness. I am a firm believer in free speech, but do remember, it comes with a price, sometimes you've gotta eat the shit that you dish out.
Don't assume that we don't like what we read, this calls for interesting dead-pan, regurgitated 'literature'. You write well, though at times it's the same old crap, just re-digested and defecated in different locations, but with a few modifications, maybe a corn kernel here and there. I think this condition is called 'Verbal Diarrhea'.
Maybe you should take your own advice ever so once in a while and try to reflect on what,where and when did it go wrong, who you've offended along the way with your so-called 'constructive criticism'.
So maybe you can take THIS 'constructive criticism' to heart because isn't it true that those who are honestly harshest with you, love you the most? I am SO overwhelmed with 'love' for you....or so it seems.
Does this cause you discomfort? It sucks when you have to swallow that bitter pill doesn't it?
(P.S. I still have MY balls, in various sizes,if you need a few...)
WOW.... there are people who don't have a life but to leave "nice" comments on blogs!!!!
Hey, ball collector.... do you have balls of steel?
Another anonymous:P
Thanks for the criticism and comments. I will still carry on dlusioned that I am. I can't be friends with everyone and its not even my intention. Go ahead and hate me. It is still my blog and the fact that I have yet to thrash any negative comments means I don't hide. However should things turn ugly I will trash comments or enable moderation.
Again, don't like me, stay away, why comment unless you just wanna pick a fight? Leave this blog and blogger alone. I'm gonna carry on anyway, So What if I become unpopular? I blog about what I feel and I gym to keep fit. Why should any of you be bothered enough to comment?
If it's dead pan and regurgitated stuff, yeah, but it's stuff I wanna write about. You don't wanna read it, don't click on the link. Simple as that.
I just commented on BC 32, doesn't mean I don't like the programme. I don't like the release. So whats your problem? Why not attack all the blogs that mention BC 32?
When I hide behind a "cloak of annonymity" I can say whatever I want to say, without having to be responsible for the words.
Shanticombat, those are people who despise you , and purposely write comments to make you feel agitated. People who finds it amusing, and entertaining to write long comments on other people's blog.
Cowards who hide behind their words, have no standing in this world.
TOUCHE!
Takes one to know one.
Touche what ?
Thats why people like you, are useless. Write with intentions to generate flak.
At least this blogger has the tendency to write and sign off her own name. As for you, who you trying to protect ?
Who did this blogger kutuk so much you cannot tahan ?
From now on I refer to you as the Blogger Critic , and myself as the Blogger Critic, Critic. ;D
This country is way past communism, that's for sure. Thank god for free speech too.
But sometimes, if you've got nothing better to say, it's better left unsaid. This time I think its better you didn't say anything at all What one might think as constructive criticism, others might not think the same. They never wanted you to open your mouth in the first place. It's called constructive criticism for a reason, being that if the other party is willing and wanting to accept it. Shooting off your mouth like this can sometimes be called "vindictive and malicious" Commenting as an annonymous is as good as shooting of your ass, more like farting, which can be not only vindictive and malicious, it can be embarassing and smelly
So, best that you keep those comments to yourself because if you can dish out criticism, it should come with a set of balls to go up there and prove it, show what's bugging you. if you have the balls yourself, why do you hide behind the cloak ? That way, it might actually be taken in as 'constructive'.
Don't just talk in the background, put your money where your mouth is. what about you
well said bernsy!
*Huge Laughter*
This is all getting very, very amusing. I must thank you all for the hilarious insights. Farts are embarassing and smelly, that's why it's important to practice self control, *laugh*.
Oh no, there's no one here that needs protection, i think they are more than capable of protecting themselves. Question is, who are you trying to destroy? Maybe you meant well, but it sure doesn't look like it.
I am not the one talking flak about other people on the blog. Maybe you should read the previous blog entries.
You generated the fire, now be prepared to take the heat.
Oh no, there's no one here that needs protection, i think they are more than capable of protecting themselves. Question is, who are you trying to destroy? Maybe you meant well, but it sure doesn't look like it. You definitely taking this too personally. Maybe you felt bad about what the blogger said about you isn't it ? Is that why you are personally attacking this blogger. I was checking her posts, which one are you referrring to and lets discuss. You feel she has directly said something bad about you it the previous last 2-3 posts, or something way before ?
You generated the fire, now be prepared to take the heat. Is that a threat ?
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