When will it be enough?

I now wonder, when will gym-ing be enough. Apparently I gave gained a few pounds, all from about a month of slacking off. By that I mean I gave up on PT, I still go for classes, but instead of 4/5 times a week, I've cut it down to 2/3 times. But I have still maintained a relatively healthy lifestyle, occasionally indulging in some fast food and snack. But yet, the six pack and toned arms are dissipating. Which makes me wonder, what would happen if I were to quit altogether? Would I turn back to what I was before, a plumpish girl ( I wish lar, can still be called GIRL) or would I become a blimp?

Previously, at my fittest, I was doing weights with the PT, and like I said, 4 to 5 times a week of BC. But, I felt drained, and just fatigued. At every PT session, I'd dread going and after said session, be aching for a good two days. Food was sometimes just cereal, breakfast, lunch and dinner, which contributed to the fatigue. Yea, I was toned and the abs were there, but I wasn't quite happy. I looked good, except of course I lost some womanly curves.

So, I decided to discontinue PT and just do classes. I promised myself I'd do weights on my own, but somehow, without someone to push me, I haven't lifted a single dumbbell. Plus I'm a whole lot happier now, due in most part to better half and his amazing knowledge and resources when it comes to hunting for food! Needless to say, I have now regained my womanly curves, but to my dismay, my nurses have commented that my derriere is looking larger than before! Sigh. Now I'm paranoid again and thinking that if this keeps up this way, I'm gonna end up OBESE! But at the back of my mind, I'm thinking, Hey, I still work out, just less often and maybe less intense, but I'm healthy right? Shouldn't what I'm doing be enough?

If I were to kill my self again, back to a more intense programme, and finally achieve the results I want, how then would I maintain it, without spending a majority of my time in the gym? Does it mean that lifelong maintenance requires the same effort or more just to sustain the desired physical appearance? How mush is enough? My PT once told me,its a balance between what you consume and what you use. Can't seem to find that balance lah.

Seriously, I have a life, one that involves more than just BC, BS, BP and weights. I have a family, friends, a doggie and hobbies that I just can't live without. So I guess I can't sacrifice so much of my time anymore. I suppose I'll just have to accept my womanly curves. But I'll still try to lose just that little bit more.