So sleepy...

The past couple of days have been a little tiring..been working out, getting all tired, but have not been able to sleep well. Might have been because BH wasn't around, or more likely because there are many thoughts plaguing my mind. I wish I had a Pensieve..hehehehe. Too much Harry Potter, I know.

It seems very clear now that life is ever changing. What we think and assume are the same problems we've faced before might actually be different ones. Andrew Matthews says life makes you hit a wall, until you learn your lesson, then you go past that wall. Then life will hit you with another wall, and so on..thats how you learn. I'm a slow learner...I hit the same wall many times.

Of late, many plans have been put into action. Life changing plans. Though unwilling to reveal anything at the moment, when the time comes, all shall be revealed. I am truly hoping that all these plans will come to fruition..however, I am also quick to caution myself that these plans are not without risks or adversity. But I believe that good things don't always come easily and when one has a dream of a better life, it's worth a try.So that, currently is the plan. Have not even worked out the details yet, but am still very much full of ambition. Hopefully the ambition is enough to drive me through the many obstacles I see in my path.

Kt wrote recently, on life revamping...how true that post sounds to me. I'm sure many of us have gone through that, when life seems oddly routine,complacent, inadequate. There must be something more, and this is what I think makes us human...our need for something more.

Where have all the good men gone?

Thats what someone was relating to me..she'd been engaged for about a year and was due to get hitched this month. But the guy wanted to postpone, citing lack of funds, after she'd paid for the hall, and some expenses. Apparently she'd also been giving him money, when he was jobless. She paid the deposit for a car even. So she wondered out loud, where have all the good men gone?

I used to wonder myself, slightly over a year ago...almost all the good ( or oklar, not so bad) men had been taken, or were/are gay.Another point of contention...not only do we have other women as rivals, these days, we have to rival other men..of course, that's just me, pulling a hissy fit. As we all know, those men, really, we can't rival them lah..once gay..they prefer men anyway, so unless one is willing to sacrifice all and flip to the otherside...lets just leave these men as lost causes.

Anyways, it does seem like most available men today are the left-overs..the ones others don't want. Well, a year ago I might have thought that. And right now I know a few women, having being disappointed, feel the same way. But deep down, I chose not to believe that. I chose to believe that not all the good men are gone and taken...they really still are out there, we just have to look in the right places.

Most of the time, the right places are the places we never thought of looking in the first place. I certainly wasn't looking (well, not in his direction) when I met BH. He wasn't even what I was looking for..how wrong I was. Someone must have been looking over me, cos I decided to give the bloke a try...lo and behold..it's been a year, short, but it seems like we've known each other for ages. I lucked out..the guy I initially thought would be fun to hang out with one ONE date, turned out to be the guy who makes me laugh on EVERY date, and one I want to date over,and over again.

So you see, the good men haven't gone anywhere..some yeah, will be unavailable. Some will become available, some are just waiting to be found. I guess we just have to have some faith, a positive outlook and hope, for the best. I think most of the time, we look for the good men in all the WRONG places and in all the wrong men. Most of us look for the wrong things in a man too, despite what we claim.

Oh, BH says it was the rose pendant I'm wearing...it is supposed to bring romance. See, when I first appeared in LM, Ah Loong told him I was probably already married, with 3 kids to boot, but he thought otherwise. Why else would I be wearing a rose pendant, if not to look for love? He was right. Ironically, the pink colour of the pendant seems to be diminishing...I wonder if that means I've found what I'm looking for and it doesn't need to send out its vibes anymore? It did it's job and very well too.